The Phantom

I truly understand the extent of my love for you,
as it reflects the pain I suffer as you leave.
My plans were perfectly drawn out,
it was to end beautifully,
but one of the cast members is missing,
as she had run to the other door,
and her eyes caught mine as she made her leave.

Lights shining upon the stage
and eyes transfixed upon our every stride.
The world sits on the edge of its seat,
waiting to hear the colors of your voice
as I convinced them it is the sweetest to see,
for it was the first script we had together.

But one is not sure of what to believe,
as life is to move on but it feels to stand still.
Leave me with it,
allow the moment to be painted within my heart.

Painting from the Heart

The love from my lips,
starts to paint a picture
unknown to the world of those perceiving,
and left to those to feel the colors with their heart.
How is one to capture the thoughts,
as the heart walks blindly in emotions?
Gripped with fear of past happenings,
it can only spill and throw paint
at the mirror it stands before,
in the hopes to smear and blend colors
to disrupt the image that may shine back into its eyes.

Go ahead,
pull the shades over the windows,
block out the light that wishes to peer inside to your house.
But the longing within you,
wishes to feel the wonders of laughter,
and to see the color of love.
So do not stand long,
nor ponder on those standing still,
all around you will come and go.
Learn to stretch what is before you,
as single stroke can bring the life to the portrait.

Peace

My heart spills tears to see,
it hurts as I look forward and wonder,
what is to become of this war.
It seems so scary,
when the agenda is all about you
imagining the possibilities of living in discomfort,
the nightmares out to steal your dreams.
It seems so unreal,
when the hallway of life doesn't end,
and the fear of losing happiness
or being robbed of your innocence and safety
starts to flash brightly before your eyes.
It is so easy,
to get stuck with a small picture
to represent our world and purpose
but it all disappears instantly,
the moment you step into His presence.
As He takes your hand,
the world becomes so light,
as fear turns to peace
and your sadness into joyous streams.
His love is so great...Praise to Him.

Closest Companion

My heart aches for the pain I have caused,
you alone, friend, have given me wisdom
to bring compassion and comfort,
to show the feelings of true love.
Let me never forsake you again,
as you are my teacher and true friend.

What now is there to do,
as time falls through
and eternity approaches,
what shall my heart feel?
It has a longing to be closer,
yet the distance seems to grow
as my eyes deceive me from truth,
I must rest on knowing from you.

The Fight for Identity

To realize the full extent of our identity in Christ, we must come to realize the fullness of our inheritance as sons and daughters of God.

This is our being. This is what we were created to have and be.

Graham Cooke spoke of our identity coming out of our earthly personality, but also of heaven's perspective of us.

Meaning God has created us uniquely, each with different gifts and different spirits (introverted, extroverted, etc.), but we are also to align with the heaven's creation of us which is in the image of Christ.

Romans 8:11-17- Talks about dying in the flesh and living in the Spirit and becoming sons of God.

Now switching over to Galatians 5:22 which speaks of the fruits of the Spirit. Are we not suppose to bear these fruits of love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control?

Are we not living lies when we do not bear these fruits every second of our lives? Is our goal to become like our Papa, to be the image of Christ, or are we living to become the image of the one trying to destroy us?

There is a lie we are living if we become angry instead of loving and gentle.

There is a lie we are living if we are fearful and hopeless instead of joyful and a resonance of peace in our hearts.

We have control of ourselves. No one has control of us unless we allow it.

We have the Holy Spirit. He is brilliant at everything. This includes healing the wounds of our past or conquering that fear.

Romans 8:29 is our promise, our prophetic word. It is time to fight circumstances with our prophetic words instead of circumstances fighting them down.

So you have the tools to conquer at your right hand. You are anointed to be King one day by the Kings of Kings, so go out now and conquer Goliath with your promise of kingship...

Belashi

I see your painful heart.
You've left it pinned to the wall.
As you walk around as a hollow being,
it is there constantly as a reminder
to crush any gleams of hope for the door.
The house you've built
has become you're very own prison
as the foundation does not hold strong,
and the enemy has come to dwell,
and the life seems to be brittle with sorrow.

What shall I do for you?
My heart longs to love but it can only enter by doors,
not by climbing walls of stone.
You've been by my side my life
yet my hugs are not returned,
words of love fall short from my lips.

Pierce the heart of my Belashi,
overflow her cup with life again.

Fears and Compassion

I'm changing things up a bit. This one isn't a poem...

I was a guest speaker at my friend's newly made youth group. It consist anywhere between 0-12 high schoolers.

It was my first time speaking on a message I prepared.
It wasn't anything formal.
It's a strange thing to speak in front of people one has just met.
You have no personal background of each of them.
They are going through a critical period, a launching point, a leaping point to their next season.

I personally do not find myself a great speaker. Most of my thoughts are fantastic in my head but to communicate them to others in a comprehensible way is far from a great strength unless I have time to process.

I feel I can get my points across, but quite often I feel I may say too much and possibly offend them. But I may just be over-thinking and critical.

But these feelings do derive from fear but also of compassion. As I spoke to these young adults, I want them to fully realize His love. I want to set a firm foundation for them earlier before I even got it.

However.

I trust in Him. I planted the seed.

He is the grower.

So...good day.

Blind Emotions

Cries and utterances try to escape
this beating prison inside.
Out comes overwhelming thoughts and compulsions,
to suppress them would only lead them astray
and to gnaw away at my love and composure,
as they bash and scratch against the walls
and longingly look past the prison bars
to the lightness and pure clouds above.

Rationality stands over guard,
as he beats them within me
to stay, be quiet, stop crying,
your longings and dreams will be forgotten,
stay in line and you will live,
scream out and no one will hear,
not a second glance as they walk by.

They cannot stay still.
A gentle wind whispers to them of a coming,
a new love, a new hope, a new dream.
They are stirred,
only to cry out for mercy to the chasing winds,
asking to be shown, asking to see.
The fortress walls suddenly crash,
as the sight has an unexpected reality
and they are free to walk into a beauty.

Seasons

The night brings a calming to my soul,
as stars chase after the dimming light,
but as my heart lies in the middle of the road,
my mind races in both directions,
there seems no clear indication of signs.
Light glistens from the damp ground,
as a leaf and its brother follow suit to my hand,
the lightness of life send off my senses,
my breath caught in a stillness of the beauty.

Where to go
as mystery hides behind the veil of darkness,
and leaves of life leave their home to join others
to leave the once beautiful tree, bare.
I will stay with you tree,
as seasons will come,
beauty will be restored
the twinkling eyes in the night sky
will be our light.

Surrender

Unconditional surrender to the Living God is my heart's cry.
To know my Father without fear of lacking provision or protection.
I've grown in a lifestyle where luxuries are always within my grasp and a menu appears before me as I look into the kitchen fridge.
The idea of poverty seems so alien to my life experience that it almost brings pain instead of thankfulness to my heart.
Papa, I don't perform for your love, but give me more of you at any cost! Allow me to dine with your presence before the presence of our enemies constantly.
Give me a greater love for you! Help me become a greater friend!
Teach me to worship you the way it is done fully in heaven!
Replace the desires of this world with your heart and passions, Papa...
Thank you Papa for your love.
Thank you for your countenance.
Thank you Jesus for being our King.
The King of Glory.
The King above all Kings.
The King of Heaven...and of earth.
The Lover of my Soul.