Belashi

I see your painful heart.
You've left it pinned to the wall.
As you walk around as a hollow being,
it is there constantly as a reminder
to crush any gleams of hope for the door.
The house you've built
has become you're very own prison
as the foundation does not hold strong,
and the enemy has come to dwell,
and the life seems to be brittle with sorrow.

What shall I do for you?
My heart longs to love but it can only enter by doors,
not by climbing walls of stone.
You've been by my side my life
yet my hugs are not returned,
words of love fall short from my lips.

Pierce the heart of my Belashi,
overflow her cup with life again.

Only Intimacy

Intimacy-Into-me-u-see

God prevented a crutch in my life.
I went through a season of seeing numerous breakthroughs and healings, personal encounters with God, and learning the parts of my identity as a son of God. I started to receive and give words of knowledge which set the stage to the healing the person would receive from Jesus. It was incredible.

Then it seemed to stop.

The healings occurred every once in awhile and the words of knowledge accuracy rate dropped tremendously. I thought I was doing something wrong or that God just wanted me to shift to a different position and learn a new gift.

He shifted me and I did learn new gifts...
But I still have the previous anointing.

He shifted me into a season of rest. He wanted to destroy the performance based heart once and for all.
He wanted to teach me how to be a lover instead of only a son.
I was to rely completely on him. I did not perform the healings. He did. I only held on to the promises.

He didn't want me to replace intimacy with experiences. My experiences are to remind me of my Papa, not replace my Father. He wanted my heart completely. He wanted to teach me how to love and be loved.

He has taught me of the perfect love. I no longer fear because He is the safest place.

Fears and Compassion

I'm changing things up a bit. This one isn't a poem...

I was a guest speaker at my friend's newly made youth group. It consist anywhere between 0-12 high schoolers.

It was my first time speaking on a message I prepared.
It wasn't anything formal.
It's a strange thing to speak in front of people one has just met.
You have no personal background of each of them.
They are going through a critical period, a launching point, a leaping point to their next season.

I personally do not find myself a great speaker. Most of my thoughts are fantastic in my head but to communicate them to others in a comprehensible way is far from a great strength unless I have time to process.

I feel I can get my points across, but quite often I feel I may say too much and possibly offend them. But I may just be over-thinking and critical.

But these feelings do derive from fear but also of compassion. As I spoke to these young adults, I want them to fully realize His love. I want to set a firm foundation for them earlier before I even got it.

However.

I trust in Him. I planted the seed.

He is the grower.

So...good day.