It's a New Season

Summer has brought a new season into my life and with that I am starting fresh.

I'll be transferring to this blog: http://humble4love.wordpress.com/

I will be posting new and some old blogs from here for those that haven't read my old writings.

So cheers!

The Phantom

I truly understand the extent of my love for you,
as it reflects the pain I suffer as you leave.
My plans were perfectly drawn out,
it was to end beautifully,
but one of the cast members is missing,
as she had run to the other door,
and her eyes caught mine as she made her leave.

Lights shining upon the stage
and eyes transfixed upon our every stride.
The world sits on the edge of its seat,
waiting to hear the colors of your voice
as I convinced them it is the sweetest to see,
for it was the first script we had together.

But one is not sure of what to believe,
as life is to move on but it feels to stand still.
Leave me with it,
allow the moment to be painted within my heart.

Painting from the Heart

The love from my lips,
starts to paint a picture
unknown to the world of those perceiving,
and left to those to feel the colors with their heart.
How is one to capture the thoughts,
as the heart walks blindly in emotions?
Gripped with fear of past happenings,
it can only spill and throw paint
at the mirror it stands before,
in the hopes to smear and blend colors
to disrupt the image that may shine back into its eyes.

Go ahead,
pull the shades over the windows,
block out the light that wishes to peer inside to your house.
But the longing within you,
wishes to feel the wonders of laughter,
and to see the color of love.
So do not stand long,
nor ponder on those standing still,
all around you will come and go.
Learn to stretch what is before you,
as single stroke can bring the life to the portrait.

Peace

My heart spills tears to see,
it hurts as I look forward and wonder,
what is to become of this war.
It seems so scary,
when the agenda is all about you
imagining the possibilities of living in discomfort,
the nightmares out to steal your dreams.
It seems so unreal,
when the hallway of life doesn't end,
and the fear of losing happiness
or being robbed of your innocence and safety
starts to flash brightly before your eyes.
It is so easy,
to get stuck with a small picture
to represent our world and purpose
but it all disappears instantly,
the moment you step into His presence.
As He takes your hand,
the world becomes so light,
as fear turns to peace
and your sadness into joyous streams.
His love is so great...Praise to Him.

Timing

Your ideas and adventures catch me off guard,
as you teach me your ways
I walk dazed and confused as I search,
standing in the midst of others
but remaining completely unaware by others.
My eyes search to feel the tug,
to find someone to love,
as your beauty begins to shine.
The hope of seeing you
every waking moment of life,
brings a joy unimaginable to my heart
and the hope of all things good.

Closest Companion

My heart aches for the pain I have caused,
you alone, friend, have given me wisdom
to bring compassion and comfort,
to show the feelings of true love.
Let me never forsake you again,
as you are my teacher and true friend.

What now is there to do,
as time falls through
and eternity approaches,
what shall my heart feel?
It has a longing to be closer,
yet the distance seems to grow
as my eyes deceive me from truth,
I must rest on knowing from you.

The Fight for Identity

To realize the full extent of our identity in Christ, we must come to realize the fullness of our inheritance as sons and daughters of God.

This is our being. This is what we were created to have and be.

Graham Cooke spoke of our identity coming out of our earthly personality, but also of heaven's perspective of us.

Meaning God has created us uniquely, each with different gifts and different spirits (introverted, extroverted, etc.), but we are also to align with the heaven's creation of us which is in the image of Christ.

Romans 8:11-17- Talks about dying in the flesh and living in the Spirit and becoming sons of God.

Now switching over to Galatians 5:22 which speaks of the fruits of the Spirit. Are we not suppose to bear these fruits of love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control?

Are we not living lies when we do not bear these fruits every second of our lives? Is our goal to become like our Papa, to be the image of Christ, or are we living to become the image of the one trying to destroy us?

There is a lie we are living if we become angry instead of loving and gentle.

There is a lie we are living if we are fearful and hopeless instead of joyful and a resonance of peace in our hearts.

We have control of ourselves. No one has control of us unless we allow it.

We have the Holy Spirit. He is brilliant at everything. This includes healing the wounds of our past or conquering that fear.

Romans 8:29 is our promise, our prophetic word. It is time to fight circumstances with our prophetic words instead of circumstances fighting them down.

So you have the tools to conquer at your right hand. You are anointed to be King one day by the Kings of Kings, so go out now and conquer Goliath with your promise of kingship...

Psalm 2

How am I suppose to feel?
I come to rest with you but this question still remains.
Am I suppose to mourn as I see into a possible destruction?
This spirit that wanders within the house torments me,
as it consumes those I love.
When will they truly give themselves up to you?
When will they surrender their hearts to your ways?
I long to see them healed as I feel the tension and pain in their souls.
They have grown up in a pattern of slow destruction,
reaping in the lies they have sown.

Lord, come rescue our hearts!
You alone are always good and love us truly.
You are my roots and I have grown to love you,
you remain faithful and holy with justice,
I will praise you, for you are worthy of praise.
My heart will turn to joy from the manifest of your glory
and rest will find my weariness
as the promise is fulfilled.

Belashi

I see your painful heart.
You've left it pinned to the wall.
As you walk around as a hollow being,
it is there constantly as a reminder
to crush any gleams of hope for the door.
The house you've built
has become you're very own prison
as the foundation does not hold strong,
and the enemy has come to dwell,
and the life seems to be brittle with sorrow.

What shall I do for you?
My heart longs to love but it can only enter by doors,
not by climbing walls of stone.
You've been by my side my life
yet my hugs are not returned,
words of love fall short from my lips.

Pierce the heart of my Belashi,
overflow her cup with life again.

Only Intimacy

Intimacy-Into-me-u-see

God prevented a crutch in my life.
I went through a season of seeing numerous breakthroughs and healings, personal encounters with God, and learning the parts of my identity as a son of God. I started to receive and give words of knowledge which set the stage to the healing the person would receive from Jesus. It was incredible.

Then it seemed to stop.

The healings occurred every once in awhile and the words of knowledge accuracy rate dropped tremendously. I thought I was doing something wrong or that God just wanted me to shift to a different position and learn a new gift.

He shifted me and I did learn new gifts...
But I still have the previous anointing.

He shifted me into a season of rest. He wanted to destroy the performance based heart once and for all.
He wanted to teach me how to be a lover instead of only a son.
I was to rely completely on him. I did not perform the healings. He did. I only held on to the promises.

He didn't want me to replace intimacy with experiences. My experiences are to remind me of my Papa, not replace my Father. He wanted my heart completely. He wanted to teach me how to love and be loved.

He has taught me of the perfect love. I no longer fear because He is the safest place.

Fears and Compassion

I'm changing things up a bit. This one isn't a poem...

I was a guest speaker at my friend's newly made youth group. It consist anywhere between 0-12 high schoolers.

It was my first time speaking on a message I prepared.
It wasn't anything formal.
It's a strange thing to speak in front of people one has just met.
You have no personal background of each of them.
They are going through a critical period, a launching point, a leaping point to their next season.

I personally do not find myself a great speaker. Most of my thoughts are fantastic in my head but to communicate them to others in a comprehensible way is far from a great strength unless I have time to process.

I feel I can get my points across, but quite often I feel I may say too much and possibly offend them. But I may just be over-thinking and critical.

But these feelings do derive from fear but also of compassion. As I spoke to these young adults, I want them to fully realize His love. I want to set a firm foundation for them earlier before I even got it.

However.

I trust in Him. I planted the seed.

He is the grower.

So...good day.

Strings

Jason asked the group to express our feelings a week ago by writing or drawing...naturally, I wrote a poem.

Circumstances pressing in,
my body wonders if this is real
an illusion, a dream,
as the natural and spiritual struggle to overcome each other
and my mind, soul and heart have become the rope being pulled.
The world says to be myself,
to be happy, to be independent
but that "to be" has a string attached
as it drags the heaviness of "you are".
But you intervene,
your words of love pierce my heart,
cutting the strings holding onto me
releasing me to breathe,
no longer a controlled puppet.
So I will dance freely
as a hand does not dangle me,
but yours has set me to my feet.

Blind Emotions

Cries and utterances try to escape
this beating prison inside.
Out comes overwhelming thoughts and compulsions,
to suppress them would only lead them astray
and to gnaw away at my love and composure,
as they bash and scratch against the walls
and longingly look past the prison bars
to the lightness and pure clouds above.

Rationality stands over guard,
as he beats them within me
to stay, be quiet, stop crying,
your longings and dreams will be forgotten,
stay in line and you will live,
scream out and no one will hear,
not a second glance as they walk by.

They cannot stay still.
A gentle wind whispers to them of a coming,
a new love, a new hope, a new dream.
They are stirred,
only to cry out for mercy to the chasing winds,
asking to be shown, asking to see.
The fortress walls suddenly crash,
as the sight has an unexpected reality
and they are free to walk into a beauty.

Seasons

The night brings a calming to my soul,
as stars chase after the dimming light,
but as my heart lies in the middle of the road,
my mind races in both directions,
there seems no clear indication of signs.
Light glistens from the damp ground,
as a leaf and its brother follow suit to my hand,
the lightness of life send off my senses,
my breath caught in a stillness of the beauty.

Where to go
as mystery hides behind the veil of darkness,
and leaves of life leave their home to join others
to leave the once beautiful tree, bare.
I will stay with you tree,
as seasons will come,
beauty will be restored
the twinkling eyes in the night sky
will be our light.

God-breathed

Theopneustos is 'God breathed' in the Greek. It is where we draw the word "inspiration" from. An inspired person is defined as ‘theophoretos’ (God borne) and by ‘pneumatophoros’ (Spirit borne).

The very essence of us is all three. The passions of hearts are inspirations from our Father. It's a sad thought of how much religion has been driven into our love for God that very definition of 'love' has become perverted.

This love has been turned into a performance without grace.
It has come from selfish ambition. It is without humility.

Humility is not lowering your self-esteem or the strengths of who you are.
It is being a servant. It is honoring other values over yours first.

We breath to love.
We were born to be loved.

Jesus breathed a life of unconditional love.
No strings attached.
The Holy Spirit teaches us this. We live by the Spirit, not of the flesh.
So lets live by faith. Lets live by this love.

Love. Mercy. Grace.

The truth has been there in my mind, heart, and soul.
I just didn't know how to put it in words.
I just hadn't fully grasped it.
Love, mercy, and grace.
It was all we needed. It is the one thing He longed to give.
And we are redeemed to be come back fully into His image...just the way we were made to be.
He has called us into his divine nature.
It is not of us to judge because He doesn't judge anymore.
It is not of us to anger because He only knows of good thoughts.
This thought of my Father...somehow was lost amongst many.
But I'll hold on to it with my life. It is life.
Forgiveness is life. Not judgement.
Love is life. Not hatred.
Love is the new justice. Not punishment.
There is no fear in perfect love.
And it is already given...just receive.